


After Midnight

by Chris Heavens (chrisheavens)



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Disabled Character, Game Spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 18:44:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4887748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisheavens/pseuds/Chris%20Heavens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kazuhira is left to cope in the aftermath of Big Boss' plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> TPP destroyed me. Kaz really got the short end of the stick, so this is ultimately for him. Based on the game, I don't believe he had any idea of the deceit Big Boss had orchestrated. And on that note, here's to you, Kaz! You beautiful, passionate, and wildly misunderstood man!
> 
> It's been a while - nice to be back! Apologies up front!

Kazuhira sat idly, the table before him buried beneath a sea of documents. Each one required his attention, but his focus drifted far beyond the neglected pages. For weeks he’d stood precariously at the brink of madness, fueled only by discontent. It hadn’t served as a distraction nor a motivation, eating away at his already frayed existence. It had become difficult to differentiate between reality and fabrication - to sort out everything he had been through and the heart-wrenching truths that had come to light. He wasn’t sure how long he could continue - how long he would push forward when his only drive remained a hollow ideal of vengeance.

Kazuhira’s gaze shot abruptly to the door as he caught the sound of footsteps echoing from the hall. He sneered, loathing the cocky gait accompanied by the soft metallic jingle of cowboy spurs that only came closer. His body tensed as he waited for the door to open, picking up one of the reports in front of him. He refused to be caught in private reflection.

The heavy door indeed gave way, and Kazuhira remained silent. He didn’t acknowledge his visitor until those steps stopped at his side and a thick, brown envelope was held directly in front of his field of vision. His head tilted only slightly toward the self-appointed envoy.

“It’s been a few weeks. Seems like you’ve calmed down a bit. In recognition of that, I present you with a special delivery, Master Miller.”

It was hard to say what was mockery and what was purely Ocelot with his tone smooth and irritating as ever. Kaz found it a daily struggle to maintain a facade of pleasantries when the man’s very presence remained as desirable as a shotgun blast to the face.

“Special delivery?” Kaz echoed, voice low and incredulous. Ocelot stepped back as Kaz turned and grabbed his cane. He gave a single, intentional jab at the brown package Ocelot held at his chest. “This some kind of joke?”

Ocelot regarded him with infuriating patience, and Kaz’s lips remained a tight line. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t an enemy - at least not yet.

“Nope, not quite. I’ve been instructed to deliver this to you. Courtesy... of _him_.”

Kaz gave a soft grunt of a laugh.

“Well, isn’t that just the icing on the cake. Leave it on the table - I’ll deal with it later.”

He hated the feel of Ocelot’s gaze on him - eyes that glinted with understanding but simultaneously shone with amusement at Kaz’s displeasure.

“Then, I guess I leave you to it. You’re welcome, by the way. Remember - I’m just the messenger.”

Kaz shot him a disdainful look, but Ocelot simply set down the package and sauntered back toward the door. Kaz’s clouded gaze fell from his back to the package on the table, his patience wearing thin as Ocelot’s departing footsteps paused at the threshold, the soft skid as he turned back toward him.

“Don’t. Just don’t,” Kaz warned, refusing even a parting glance. And though he hadn’t seen it directly, he could feel the dismissive shrug as Ocelot honored his request. And only when he knew he was truly and once more alone did Kaz let out a heavy, shaken sigh.

He stared at the package, cursed it - the attention it demanded sitting loud and obvious amongst the white pages of his reports. He debated heavily if he cared to know the contents, though it was a matter of resolve. To release the power John had over him, he had to acknowledge him - to come to terms with the fact that this was the last time he would humor a man he had blindly trusted, that had very possibly betrayed him not once, but twice. It was time to drown the fantasy that they would be more than comrades in arms - that he would return to Big Boss’ side to build their impenetrable fortresses and timeless legacy together.

It felt laughable as Kaz grimly realized, unequivocally, that he would never truly be rid of John or their twisted destiny. Ever since their first encounter, Kaz’s fate had been sealed - like a chain around his neck and shackles on each limb. He was trapped in that self-imposed prison that had made perfect sense for far too long. Until he knew... Knew that he couldn’t stand beside a man who held nothing sacred.

Kaz took hold of the dirty, traveled envelope with reluctance.

“I won’t answer your calls,” he quipped, a haunted smile on his features. “So now you try to send me a letter? Maybe next a box of my stuff...?”

He grabbed the utility knife he’d left at the far end of the table and situated himself in his chair to hold the package between his thighs. It took a few attempts, but he successfully sliced it open, though he didn’t bother to peer inside - instead tipping it slowly to dump out the contents. With a soft clatter, two cassette tapes fell to the table. He glanced inside, just to be sure, and found nothing more.

Miller immediately noticed that of the pair, one cassette was decidedly more worn and dated than its companion. He picked it up, inspected it slowly by tilting it from side to side. It was familiar, but he couldn’t place why. The urge to listen quickly took hold, but at the same time that avidity helped to snap him awake - to remind him that there were still important things to be done.

With a low huff, he pushed the tapes aside to focus on the new orders and intel he’d neglected for far too many hours. Whatever awaited him on those magnetic strips wouldn’t change anything, not at this point. This time, it could wait.

This time... Big Boss could wait.

\----

It was approaching sunset at Mother Base by the time Kazuhira was heading back to his personal quarters. It seemed absurdly appropriate that the normally picturesque view of the endless horizon was buried under dark, menacing rain clouds. Though, he hardly took notice as he walked with the envelope tucked under his arm. It was a growing burden he already struggled to keep in place - could swear it was weighted with fifty pounds of regrets and disappointments. Heavier yet when stacked higher with undeserved betrayal.

Kaz had never considered himself expendable, per se, but the realization stung unbearably - lodged deeper than he could reach. He had believed they would conquer to the ends of the earth - stand side by side as a true super power that would protect their fragile world.

Such a fool.

He harshly gripped the bar of his cane as a surge of rage and sorrow erupted through his shaky emotional restraints - unwilling to accept a life as a pawn. This time, he would beat the Boss at his own game. And if he couldn’t beat him, he’d at least be a thorn in his side. With Venom... it was only the beginning.

“Shit!”

Kaz caught a dip in the floor and stumbled, sending the envelope to the floor as he struggled to keep from going down with it. And when it hit, both cassettes flew from the package, skidding a short way across the floor. Kaz only stared, fist aching from the power of his angry grip on the cane the kept him upright.

“Here, let me.”

Kaz’s head whipped back, unaware Snake had been anywhere nearby - watched numbly as Venom retrieved the tapes and envelope from the floor. The Boss gave them only a cursory glance before sliding both back into the pouch.

“Thanks,” Kaz muttered as the man turned back to him.

Venom’s blue eye studied him, making Miller feel more vulnerable than ever. He hated it, that gaze, gesturing impatiently with a nod to his good arm. Snake helped him tuck the package back in place.

“Anything I should know?” Snake asked as Kaz made no immediate move to leave or answer him. He was still paralyzed by the aggravating and gorgeous blue that lingered upon him - a gaze he couldn’t hold for long, full of warm regard and uncertainty. And of course, it struck again - those damnable and instant comparisons to Big Boss. He’d only seen that look once, long ago...

But it didn’t matter... He wasn’t Big Boss, and he never would be.

“Not sure. I haven’t had a chance to listen to them. I’ll let you know if I find anything important,” Kazuhira assured, thankful when Venom seemed to accept his answer. The man gave a nod as a look of sympathy crossed his features - something Kaz began to notice far too often and detested to his very core. He remained silent as Snake clapped a hand firmly on his shoulder, waiting only a moment for a response - or lackthereof, he was sure - before he continued on.

Kaz grit his teeth, tried to swallow his ire and nearly choked on the truth of his new reality. As soon as he made it to his room and the door closed behind him, he stood straight on both legs, slowly lifting his cane as the desperation consuming him finally boiled over in a startling flood.

“Aaargh!!” he cried, sending his cane whipping through the air in one hard throw towards the other side of the room. It landed with a satisfying crack against the wall before clattering to the floor. But the strike shifted his weight too far, throwing him immediately off balance and crashing to the floor. He landed with a loud, pained grunt on his left side as anguish tore up his good arm and through his hip. He’d tried to catch himself, but it had been pointless, sprawled on the floor. He gingerly rolled to his side, then onto his back. He stared up at the sterile ceiling as he cursed the cold, empty walls that closed in all around him.

“You... goddamn sonofabitch!” he screamed at John’s mental visage, covering his face with his hand before he roughly pressed his fingers beneath his sunglasses to wipe angrily at the tears in his eyes. He wished it could be over - that they could part ways and never look back - but it would never be that easy. His infatuation, his twisted love for Big Boss was impossible to sever, and it would forever taunt the part of his soul that laughed wholeheartedly at his efforts.

But gradually the overflow of emotion ebbed and left him in a more acceptable emptiness as he struggled to gather his wits - to pull himself together. He needed to hear the tapes. There would be no solace, he knew it in his twisted gut, but he sought it anyway. And after long moments of simply trying to regulate his haggard breathing, Kazuhira managed to sit up, bent over himself on the cold floor. The storm was temporarily over, or perhaps he was seated at the eye of it. It didn’t matter, one way or the other. His clouded eyes swept the floor, found the dark blur of the cassettes, and dragged himself to reach them.

He tossed them up onto his desk before tending to himself, using the heavy table to heft himself up from the ground. If he was going to listen to Big Boss’ last message, he was going to do so with dignity. He righted his sunglasses to force a small sense of normalcy before he dug in a drawer for his tape player, setting it upon his workspace with a quiet thunk.

The first tape he picked was the older, worn out cassette. It was wound to the beginning, ready to go, so he popped it in and hit play. At first there was nothing but the scratchy beginning of a recording, interspersed with background noises. Nondescript. But then it began...

“ _There. Just getting comfortable. This is something that needs to be remembered._ ”

There was a slight pause - Miller was frozen.

“ _It’s November 18th, 1973, and about 4 am. This is the first time the Boss has given in._ ”

Kaz’s heart beat had faded out of his own hearing before it suddenly came pounding back. He frantically stopped the tape - silenced the Kaz that spoke from a over decade ago. It was a phantom voice to him now - the Kazuhira who was optimistic, young, and shamelessly infatuated. His jaw clenched as he ground his teeth, an ineffective attempt to suppress the renewed flood of emotion building  up all over again.

He had given himself and his body to that damned man - that demon. The selfish bastard who always took what he wanted, then took it for granted. But with so many men and women falling at his feet, singing his praises and declaring their loyalty, how could he not become desensitized to such admiration?

He removed the tape, dread striking as he realized Big Boss had found the private recording he’d made at a time when he was drunk on fulfillment and ego - had possibly listened to the entirety of his musings when they’d finally crossed that line so long ago.

When they had made love in another life.

His arm felt like a slab of lead as he reached for the other unmarked cassette. He had no clue what to expect, apprehension making his body hot as he pushed the tape into the player and closed it with a strangely final click.

But he couldn’t press play. His thumb hovered over it, lightly touching the button before abruptly pulling it back as if scalded. But if these were to be John’s last words to him, he couldn’t run scared. He had to free himself from the dream, the nightmare, of Naked Snake. Of Big Boss. The man who had fallen too far from humanity.

_Click._

There was only a brief moment of silence before that familiar, gruff voice flowed from the small speaker - addressed him personally just as he had both desired and feared.

“ _Kaz… I wanted to return this to you. I’m not sure if it was intentional or not for me to find it, but it reminded me… reminded me why this all started and what I still owe you._ ”

Kaz scoffed internally, but his entire world narrowed to John’s words. He felt himself  sinking into a void and didn’t try to stop it. It was far too late for that now.

“ _You probably don’t want to hear this right now, but I’ll always remember that time. The look on your face - it could have easily been pain or pleasure, but you still asked for more. You made me want to give you everything - you always did._ ”

Kaz’s emotions slowly drifted out of reach. Maybe he had asked too much of John. And though the passing thought spurred new questions, he instantly abandoned any hope of finding their answers. Instead he drank every sip of the one-sided interaction - Big Boss always reaching out to him no matter the distance. Not everything had changed.

“ _There’s not a lot I can offer you right now, but I never abandoned you. What I’m doing now - this army will be unstoppable. Will reach further than we ever dreamed._ ”

Kaz’s lips parted. John always had a way of touching something deep and satisfying inside him, even if it was the same promise as always.

“ _You’re stubborn, a fighter, and not even I can take that from you. No matter how you try to interfere, I’ll never kill you. I’m telling you now that I won’t make that call - never give that order._ ”

Miller gave a breathy, bemused grunt.

“ _I welcome your resistance. And one day, I’m sure our paths will cross again. Huh. Star-crossed, maybe? I remember you rambling on in that lovestruck tone, talking about your favorite literature. Those quiet, peaceful nights. Fewer and further between._ ”

Kaz set down the player and leaned back in his chair. He could feel the fingers of his missing right hand twitch - the dominant one that had greedily touched Big Boss everywhere when given the opportunity. He drifted into memory for only a heartbeat as he heard John light up a cigar, take a puff. He glanced to the envelope he’d left on the floor, could see the smoke at Snake’s lips while he nonchalantly packaged the cassettes.

“ _I still hear you in the back of my mind. Your anger, your wisdom. Your whispers. I’ll never forget the parts of yourself you showed to me._ ”

Kaz’s clouded eyes landed back on the player. He leaned forward, head dropping as he felt the conclusion coming - all too soon.

“ _I chose this path to Hell, and I can’t force you to follow. But remember this - there will always be a place for you here._ ”

Ha. A place in Hell. Terribly appropriate, though exceedingly empty - empty words with new and empty promises. He couldn’t deny John had reached out one last time - but that two-way mirror of reality was already irreparably shattered.

“ _So for now, it’s not good-bye._ ”

There was a long pause, and just as Kaz thought the recording was over, he heard a soft, distant sigh.

“ _No, it’s only good-night. Take care of yourself... Kaz._ ”

For several seconds the tape continued to play static-laden white noise, until it finally clicked off and went silent. Kazuhira’s stomach was in knots, feeling suddenly and horribly alone. Big Boss’ offer was only a bittersweet farewell. He refused to lose everything a third time. And tonight... Tonight he wouldn’t sit and stew in what could have been. He would find the ending he needed. The grand finale. He knew he couldn’t stay at Mother Base for long, but there was time to figure that out - to decide what he would do next.

He sat in silence, drained - the numb silence more unbearable than fury. He didn’t want solitude. But, he realized, there was indeed something important he needed to relay to Venom. Without a second thought, Kaz gathered up the tapes and slipped them into his jacket pocket, rising slowly from his chair.

With new purpose, he guided himself by way of furniture and wall to his cane, picked it up and stared at it before putting it back to his arm. He took a deep breath and wiped at his eyes once more.

All he craved, all he needed now, was closure.

\----

Kazuhira hesitated as he approached Venom’s quarters. He knew he wasn’t out on assignment, but that didn’t guarantee he’d be up and available at nearly one in the morning. Part of him hoped he wouldn’t answer - that he wouldn’t give him access to the point of no return he approached. He closed his eyes, pulled in a deep breath of chilled night sea air, and tapped the door with his cane.

It ate him, though, that the emotional purgatory where he lingered had to be comparable to Venom’s current state. He was a Boss never meant to thrive, but he would stand beside him until he could stand alone. He deserved that much, even if Kaz’s efforts were driven by little more than resentment. But he wondered to what extent they had implanted John’s core into the man - how far had their therapy and efforts gone? Enough to fool him, to be sure.

He startled as the door opened, Venom regarding him silently. He still wore his combat fatigues, Kaz musing that he probably slept in his gear.

“Kaz?”

And though he’d intended to start with a greeting, those trivialities faded away as his honesty and thirst for information burst forth.

“You know... I had assumed it was my injuries, my failing eyesight, but Big Boss never stood taller than me.”

There was a slight furrowing at Venom’s brow, most likely unable to discern if he spoke in a literal or figurative sense. Kaz stepped closer, meeting him eye to eye, ready to elaborate.

“There were things that always seemed a little off - that I could never quite put my finger on. Up until now, that is. Your height, your voice... I feel like a fool for refusing to see the little nuances. Those things that were inherently _wrong_. Inherently... _you_.”

Snake’s eye softened as Kazuhira spoke, and it sparked something vicious inside him.

“And that! It’s goddamn pity! Big Boss would never show an ounce of it. But... you’re not him. You call yourself a demon, but you… You’re still human. Let me in. We need to talk.”

Venom didn’t say a word - simply stepped aside. Kaz entered without a second thought, stood in the middle of his room as he waited for the door to close. His fingers were wrapped tightly around his cane, not yet ready to face the man who wore John’s face. But when the door sealed shut, Snake was the first to speak

“Kaz... What’s going on? Does this have something to do with those tapes from earlier?” Venom stepped a few feet closer as he spoke, though he remained at an arm’s length. It wasn’t the first time Kaz had shown this side of himself to Snake - the overpowering emotion and fire that stayed lit deep inside - but it was the first time he had accosted him without a prelude to his troubled state of mind.

“Tell me what you know,” Kaz finally spoke. “Tell me what you remember about me.”

Kaz could feel Venom’s eye on him, linger there, the unnerving pause as he presumptively searched his memory.

“Well, do you want me to start with when you and the Boss met in Colombia?”

“No!” Miller yelled as he turned on his heel to face him, nearly losing his balance and gripping hard to the reflexive arm Venom extended to him. “Not the details of missions, of timelines! Me! What do you remember about... me...!”

His broken sentence was accentuated by the fall and clack of his cane, relying almost entirely on Venom’s support. Kazuhira couldn’t shut it off, the feeling of abandonment that his comradeship with Big Boss was over. That he was imprisoned to the memories of the beautiful man he had watched rise and fall to rise again over the corpses of his loyal soldiers and followers - almost over his own.

“Kaz.”

There was familiar command in Snake’s soft tone, enough to momentarily curb Kaz’s rampant fury. He looked up into that endless blue, unaware of how his body shook as Venom guided him to his bed. He helped him sit, but Miller didn’t let go of his arm, wrinkling the fabric from the force of his grip. Kaz stared into the composed face of the Boss until futility washed over him, leaving only a desire for comfort in its hollow wake. Momentarily defeated, he let go, dropping his arm to his side and letting it hang there.

“Am I such a fool…?”

He couldn’t look at Snake as he sat beside him, feeling his heat and fending off the rising sadness that penetrated through every vein.

“No. Now listen to me, Kaz. You know what I remember? You asked so I’m going to tell you. There was a day, it was late - you showed up in the infirmary looking worried and holding something in your shirt. When I asked what was wrong, you pulled out that little black kitten Paz had found and held him out. You told me he was sick, unresponsive, and asked if there was anything I could do. I told you I’d try.”

Kaz was silent. He’d forgotten all about it.

“He’d gotten a parasite but I was able to treat him. The look of relief on your face, I still remember it. We sat and talked for hours one night while we cared for Nuke. It surprised me how compassionate you were as we nursed him back to health. ”

Unexpectedly, the power of Kaz’s anger began to dissipate - to slip away as he dug more of the memory from his subconscious. Peace on the battlefield - he’d found it here and there. Had shared it with both Big Boss and Medic...

“I always remembered it, Kaz, even when we barely saw each other in passing after Nuke recovered.”

And for a few moments they sat in silence. At least until nostalgia gnawed too deeply at Miller and the few, precious memories of his nights with John overtook the muddied memories of this man. This replacement. How far did Snake’s memories go...?

“... and what else?” Kaz’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Do you have... did Big Boss’ memories get implanted? His knowledge?”

Kaz tilted his head, looking toward Venom but not quite at him. His profile was safely a peripheral blur.

“Well, that’s a little harder to explain... It’s more that I can feel and react as if I’d been in his situations first-hand, even though I hadn’t. His combat abilities seem to be an improvement to my own, and when I see you..."

Silence again. Kaz heard his soft exhale, no way to know what he was feeling.

“You know... He...” Kaz began, clearing his throat. “He was the only man I ever slept with. It didn’t change much between us, but I never expected...”

He caught the turn of Venom’s chin, looked away and focused down on his hand instead. His emotions were like the sea itself - unpredictable, immeasurable.

“It wasn’t as if I expected a declaration of love, but I never imagined he could betray me without a second thought. After everything we’d done, we’d built, I was still just a game piece. Even cutting ties with him now, it doesn’t change a thing. Not a goddamn thing!”

But as soon as his ferocity began to build anew, Snake put a steadying hand on his thigh. And it didn’t matter that it was the cool touch of his bionic arm, the sensation trembled through every nerve until Kazuhira dimly feared he might break.

“Don’t... Dammit, don’t touch me!”

But as Miller tried to pull away, Venom moved in one fluid motion to pin him by his shoulders to the bed. Kaz was readying to swing, to fight, but the clear glimmer of sympathy in Snake’s eye took the strength right out of him.

“You’re too damn gentle, you know...” Kaz whispered harshly. His body slowly went limp, unable to look away from the scarred man above him, challenging him with his steady gaze.

“You deserve it, Kaz. You’ve always deserved so much more.”

Kaz shook his head, closing his eyes as he clenched his teeth.

“Don’t say it... Not with that voice...!”

He kept his eyes shut tight even as he felt his beret gently lifted, heard the bare whisper as it was set aside. He thought Snake would move away, would set him to rights and they would agree never to speak of the encounter again. But instead a thigh slowly pressed between his own. Venom leaned down over him, and it wasn’t until the soft brush of Snake’s naked thumb caressed his lower lip that Kaz finally opened his eyes.

He shivered under the intensity of the gaze that met his. He could barely tolerate the ticklish sensation - the too real repetition of the way Big Boss had touched him in the past.

“Don’t copy him...”

Kaz swallowed hard, ran his teeth over his bottom lip to try to stop the lingering sensation of touch there, completely unaware he had grabbed onto the man above him.

“Kaz, that moment in the hall... That first time before you and the Boss had fucked behind closed doors, when things had built to that pivotal point - you gave him a single look that struck him to the very core. All your mortal desires burned right into him. That’s why he gave in to you.”

“Just from a look...”

Kaz hadn’t realized how hard he was breathing until he saw the rise and fall of his chest, brushing against Venom’s who had lowered his body over his own, though not quite upon him. Kaz let out a shaky breath as Snake reached to remove his sunglasses, staring into the milky orbs as if they were still a perfect blue. Perhaps that was all Snake could actually see...

“Stop me now,” Venom cautioned, voice strained. Kaz could feel Snake’s hot breaths against his lips, stubble almost close enough to rub against his face. But instead of pushing him off, Kaz hooked his fingers under the edge of his gear and pulled him full force onto his body - gracelessly found his lips and crushed them together.

Kaz nearly growled as Venom nipped at his lip - replaced the lingering touch of his thumb with a playful bite and lick. Instinctively, primal, Kaz groaned as he slowly ground his hips up against Snake’s groin. The man above him shifted until their bulges met, pressing until Kaz’s head tilted back and he sucked in a breath. But the layers of clothing between them dimmed the sensation, and Kaz grit his teeth as he tried to gain a better vantage point - to find heavier friction as his thighs tensed with his efforts.

“Like hell... More. I’ll be damned if we don’t claim this night for ourselves! I don’t belong to _him_!”

And even though his words dripped acid, Kaz’s voice was low - softer than he had intended. And Venom had no hesitation - met his resolution with the scratch of his unshaven face as he kissed Kaz hard, breaking only to nuzzle his cheek and let him catch his breath. Kaz felt at his mercy, more vulnerable than he had anticipated, though he had no intention to stop.

“Then let’s do this right,” Snake whispered.

And this time there was a gruffness to Venom’s words that faintly echoed Big Boss. But before he could drift too far, Snake began to rise off of him, situated on one knee between Kaz’s open thighs. That gaze never moved from his prone body as Snake quickly undid his tie, starting in on the buttons of his shirt. He leaned over Kaz to catch him in a brief kiss before he had to move back to begin disrobing himself.

Kaz propped himself up on his elbow to assist, shrugging out of his shirt as Venom dropped his gear to the floor, distracted by the view of rippling muscle and hard-earned battle scars. His breathing had calmed by degrees but nothing could still the pounding of his heart.

“Kaz...”

It was barely a whisper, and when Kaz forced his gaze to Venom’s face, his breath caught in his throat. He looked powerful, even as he shed the rest of his camo and stood completely naked before him. And Snake bent over him as he stared, unzipped Kaz’s pants and pulled the fabric off his legs. Kaz gripped the sheet beneath him - his palm sweaty and self-consciousness creeping upon the edges of his consciousness.

At least, only until he felt the caress of Venom’s hands glide along his thighs. He didn’t mind the cold, hard touch of the Boss’ metal hand, particularly as it rose to the junction of his thighs, his thumbs pressing in a teasing line along the dips of his pelvis. They carefully dodged the arousal between his legs as he hooked his thumbs under and removed his underwear - finally matching his state of undress. But that metal hand lingered at the straps of his prosthetic leg, fingertips lightly caressing along his outer thigh.

“Go ahead,” Kaz breathed out, his words sounding far away. It was hard to concentrate through the fog that was descending - the constant distractions of those hands on his skin and the imminence of Venom’s body against his own. Snake tenderly removed the fake limb, bending over to set aside. Kaz sucked in a breath as instead of just climbing on top of him, Snake paused at his knee, kissing the point of loss. It was too much, his milky eyes glassy as he looked away.

“Don’t...” Kaz protested, but his voice was only a whisper. Snake gave one last kiss before rising over him, not yet letting their bodies meet until he slid an arm underneath Kaz’s waist.

“Lift,” Snake whispered, and Kaz wrapped an arm around his back to help lift his upper body. Venom pulled his coat and suit from beneath him, and Kaz nearly chuckled at his thoughtfulness.

His lips parted to speak, but no words came. There wasn’t anything he could say, nothing that would mean more than a touch. He simply held the man tight as Snake descended upon him again, lowering his scarred and muscled frame atop him until they were flush against each other. Kaz caressed his back, dug in with fingers, releasing simply to clutch at him. It had been far too long since he had been so intimate with another person, giving a small roll of his body with his remaining strength to press into the larger man, thrilling as Venom’s breath catch and he buried his face at his shoulder.

Given the new position, Kaz caught his ear in a soft bite, belatedly feeling the warm touch of Venom’s good hand caressing his hip. Snake squeezed, then slowly dragged his fingers in a light touch that made Kaz shift from the tickle that resulted. But Kaz could feel his true intent - Venom lifting his hips as his thick fingers maneuvered between their bodies.  

Kaz let out a breathy grunt as Snake managed to take both their erections in his hand and squeezed. He pressed their aching columns of flesh in a briefly tight grip just before he slowly pulled upward. When his hand stopped beneath the curves of their tips, he held them stable with his thumb and middle finger, using his index finger to softly rub small circles over their swollen and darkened flesh.

It was excruciating for Kaz - to submit to this kind of foreplay as if there were time, as if... Kaz gasped and arched as Venom’s slowly pumping hand released them to travel to lower, nudging his sack out of the way as he pressed one warm finger directly to his neglected entrance. Kaz’s body clenched in response, though his thighs opened further, body pressing for greater friction against him.

“Hey, no rush...” Venom whispered, the tip of his index finger rubbing a slow circle around that tiny band of muscle. Kaz could feel the heat spiking through his body - could feel a hot, red blush spreading from face to chest. But Snake was patient, taking his time, even as Kaz caught view of his own fevered response bobbing between them in a heavy arc.

“Don’t be gentle. For chrissake, don’t be gentle,” Kaz growled, slow to realize his hips had begun to move - pressing into and circling against the touch he gradually realized Snake was withholding from him.

“Like I said, we’re going to do this right.”

Kaz focused on him past his own heaving chest, watched him begin to lean back only to instead dive forward and catch Kaz in a deep, wet kiss. His tongue immediately pushed in and beckoned Kaz to answer, twisting around his with a fervor Kaz hadn’t realized he was struggling to control. And just as the room was beginning to spin around him, overcome by the sweet touch between his legs and the claiming of his mouth, Kaz’s lips lingered open when Venom abruptly pulled back. His breathing was quiet but the heave of his chest was telling, and Kaz followed his hand as he watched him grab a small, nondescript bottle from one of the pouches on his combat gear.

“Let’s move back,” Snake instructed, helping resituate Kaz further back upon the bed. He made sure he was comfortable before kneeling between his legs, squeezing a dollop of the thick, clear liquid onto his fingers. Kaz simply drank in the view, glad to see Venom’s manhood as thick and dark as his own, tensely waiting. Every heartbeat that their bodies didn’t touch made him antsy and impatient, drunk on unwanted freedom as he swallowed hard. He stared as Snake spread the majority of the lubricant up and down his shaft.

Kaz was mesmerized, slow to react as Snake moved back upon him, cool metal fingers pressing his against his inner thigh to urge him fully bare - to expose and submit himself completely.

But he didn’t move to prepare him immediately - instead he dragged his tongue along the dip between Kaz’s pectorals, his beard tickling and scratchy against his sensitive skin. Kaz sighed a heavy breath bordering on a purr, thought it was abruptly lost in a harsh hiss as Snake’s slick finger pressed at his hole. The lube heated instantly as Snake shallowly dipped inside, removing his finger again to spread the remaining lubricant in slow circles against the surrounding flesh before again pressing against, then into, his pucker - building pressure in series of slight thrusts of his fingertip.

Kaz’s eyes slitted - staring into an abyss of pleasure and concentration as he gave a low grunt, forcing his breaths deep and slow as Snake’s thick finger began to penetrate. And he waited for mocking words - some offhand mention of his tightness or some snarky comment of celibacy. But it never came. Instead, Venom shifted to lounge partially against his thigh to continue to prepare him. Kaz was spellbound by the bulge and movement of his bicep - the small protruding veins that reached to his forearm.

His own fingers dug into Snake’s flesh, spread against and grabbed at his back, sliding to tangle into his hair as teeth sank into his neck. Kaz trembled as that hot tongue was on him again, traced his bite in a lick that traveled down his jugular and dipped past his collarbone to one of his nipples. Venom gave a hard suck, eliciting a groan as Kaz arched and drew the entirety of Snake’s persistent finger inside of his hole up to the knuckle.

“Boss...!” he gasped, the tightness that had plagued those private muscles melting away and demanding fulfillment - allowing a second finger inside as he moaned and thrust himself upon Venom’s offered digits.

He was delirious, barely able to register the continued kisses and bites over his chest and shoulders under the pressure inside. Not until he felt Snake’s fingers depart his clenching opening did he take a deep, shuddering breath - utterly pliant as Venom placed both of his legs on his shoulders. As expected, Snake was attentive to his shorter limb. His hand was unbearably warm on Kaz’s already burning body as he held his thigh in place, the heel of his good leg pushing into Snake’s back as his body was tipped for the perfect angle.

He shivered as he felt Snake press his smooth, curved tip to his opening, gave a little press that ended with an accidental slide along his perineum when Kaz reflexively tightened and blocked his entry. His teeth clenched, fingers digging into Venom’s back as he tried again. And it took persistent repetition before Kaz realized that the hot breaths near his ear were words...

“Breathe, Kaz... Breathe...”

And he did - chest rising as he inhaled deeply from his nose. His breath caught on an exhale as he relaxed enough for Snake to try again, the light pressure at his hole abruptly giving way to a heavy throb as he was stretched open - his inner ring forced to accommodate Snake’s shaft in full. And even though it was with haggard breaths, Snake was still whispering to him, though Kaz couldn’t quite make it out.His thighs clenched, desperate in those long moments before that hot, stinging ache began to fade - feeling him completely with each hard pulse of his rapid heart beat.

“That’s it... I’m in. You took every inch...”

Kaz’s grip on Snake’s body loosened by degrees, fingertips gliding down his sweat-dampened spine as he gradually grew accustomed to the fullness emanating from his lower body. He took another deep breath as Venom began to move - pulled back and paused, languidly pressing back inside. It didn’t matter that he kept a slow, steady pace - Kaz couldn’t hold back a grunt each time he entered him, a small burst of pleasure that eased the intensity of the overly-full sensation where they joined.

And Kaz was dizzy - drunk off an ecstasy he never dared dream to experience again. He couldn’t stop touching Snake - clinging desperately as each thrust came quicker than the last, lost in the bombardment of his senses as his reality crashed into a single point of slapping flesh and harsh, panting breaths.

But the building force of Snake’s thrusts forced him to release his thighs, though Kaz still gripped him - wrapped his legs around his torso in a vice to keep their bodies close. He swore he could feel the pulse of Snake’s length deep inside him as his breaths became heavy pants, body growing slick from sweat as he crept steadily toward completion.

But Kaz never wanted it to end - his own tip leaking a puddle of precum that stuck to his skin, sticking to Venom’s body in a shining string for a brief second before it snapped and was made again as his throbbing length remained trapped helplessly between them. He couldn’t chance letting go of Venom - to face his fear that the moment was all but an illusion. No, he gripped him even harder, arching his back and giving a broken cry as a new strike of pleasure slammed through his body.

Snake had shifted only slightly, but it was enough to ensure that each continued thrust made Kaz cry out as he pummeled his sweet spot in rapid succession. Kaz’s eyes shut tight, swimming in sparks of white and blackness until he could hardly stand it. And too abruptly his body went painfully taut, nails tearing down the Boss’ back as his jaw fell open in a silent, exultant cry. But Snake wasn’t done - locked his arms around his thighs and bent him in half as he pistoned desperately into his prostrate form. And in just a spattering of feverish, sporadic thrusts, he plunged deep with a pleasing cry as his body shuddered in release - pelvis crushed to Kaz’s spent body as he spilled over inside him in several throbbing pulses.

Kaz could only accept him, his body weak, though he managed to keep hold of Venom until those hot pulses eased and Snake carefully slipped out. He guided Kaz’s legs back to the bed before he moved to his side. Miller’s back was sore, but it had been hugely satisfying to hear Snake panting above him.

“Ah, god,” Venom gasped, dropping next to him as he let out a heavy exhale. And neither spoke as they lay side by side, Kaz drifting in and out as they submitted to the afterglow, breaths quieting until he could hear Snake’s soft sighs. He could feel the tickle of his seed slipping out of his softened hole, but he savored it, particularly as he realized Snake’s arm and leg were spread just far enough to keep in contact with his cooling body.

It seemed an eternity before Kaz’s heartbeat slowed to normal, offering only an inquisitive grunt as he heard Venom speak, unable to understand his words. Sleep was overtaking him, satiation blocking out any unwanted thoughts or emotions. And though he’d tried to force himself to coherency, to see what Snake wanted, he lost the battle to exhaustion and blacked out completely.

\----

For the first time, Kaz hadn’t dreamed. It was his first realization as he gradually awoke, uncertain what had roused him. And when he finally opened his eyes, they were slow to focus. It didn’t help that the room was too bright - the overhead light making him squint as he stared up at the ceiling. Except, something was different...

And that’s when it hit. Kaz was slammed with a sense of alert as everything came flooding back - the ceiling similar, of course, but entirely not his own.

He had dreaded this moment, waking in any bed other than his own, and it took all of his willpower to reach out along the covers - too afraid to look. His hand met crumpled sheets, cold to the touch, on all sides. His stomach dipped, a pain in his chest he immediately tried to smother. He refused to keep hurting - to pretend their rendezvous had been more than a dream...

But the sound of the door caught his attention, and Kaz peered with groggy eyes from his recumbent position. He wasn’t sure what to do as the dark figure on the other side of the room approached - finding few options while caught in such a state. Though, he mused, at the very least he was covered.

But as the figure approached, he felt his heart catch in his throat as he stared at his companion - unable to react as Venom stood nonchalantly before him with a ghost of a smile and two cups of coffee. Just as he’d always dreamed. He feared he’d fall apart, especially as that deep, sweet voice rang out to him.

“Good morning, Kaz.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
